


The Idea of Perfection

by KatherineAJones



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Birthday Present, It Gets Better, M/M, Self-loathing!Dean, drunk!Cas, human!AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-02
Updated: 2015-04-02
Packaged: 2018-03-20 20:40:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3664227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatherineAJones/pseuds/KatherineAJones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When someone was born, a tattoo appeared on his or her skin that exactly matched the tattoo of their soulmate. Curiously, it didn’t appear until after a few moments of being out in the world, as if something was making a deliberation of which person out there would be the best for the new baby. But appear it did, every time. </p><p>Dean Winchester was no exception.</p><p>Growing up, Dean hated his tattoo. It was supposed to signify all the love in his future, but to him, it just signified another person he was going to disappoint. After all, there was no way Dean could be perfect for anyone, was there?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Idea of Perfection

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Shnanners](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shnanners/gifts).



> This is my friend Shnanners's birthday present! Happy birthday, dear!
> 
> She requested a story based off of a convo she had with her dad and then she loves Dean with tattoos, so this happened.
> 
> It's really late and I'm really sick so my author's note is really lame. And I'm sorry if formatting it weird; I don't really want to mess with it right now.
> 
> Enjoy!

When someone was born, a tattoo appeared on his or her skin that exactly matched the tattoo of their soulmate. Curiously, it didn’t appear until after a few moments of being out in the world, as if something was making a deliberation of which person out there would be the best for the new baby. But appear it did, every time.

Dean Winchester was no exception.

Growing up, Dean hated his tattoo. It was supposed to signify all the love in his future, but to him, it just signified another person he was going to disappoint. After all, there was no way Dean could be perfect for anyone, was there?

With that in mind, the day he turned 18, Dean got his first human-created tattoo. His soulmate tattoo was a handprint on his shoulder, so he decided to get bands that looked like bracelets going around his arm. It wasn’t long before he had a whole sleeve, ending with a pair of angel wings wrapped around his wrist. Dean soon forgot about his tattoo as it became lost in the other things that made him up.

When Dean was 30, he met Castiel Novak. The two were fast friends and Dean appreciated that Cas never made a negative comment about his tattoos. Dean was relaxed around Cas in a way he wasn’t with anyone else, but it took four years for him to think anything of it.

~ ~ ~

It was a normal Saturday, with Dean and Cas lounging on the couch watching Star Wars, and Sam and his fiancé Gabriel (coincidentally, Castiel’s brother) talking at the kitchen table.

“I hate this scene,” Cas cringed as young Anakin was flying in the race and almost crashed.

“Really? I think it’s awesome!” Dean grinned.

From the kitchen, Sam commented, “You sure do say ‘awesome’ a lot.”

“Yeah, so? What’s wrong with that?”

Sam shrugged, “Nothing, really. I just find it funny seeing as the only other people I know who say it as much as you are either old or gay.” Dean missed Sam’s pointed glance between his brother and Castiel, but Cas didn’t and his cheeks heated up.

“Watch it, Sammy, I’m only 4 years older than you, so don’t you go making comments about how old I am. As for the gay, I really don’t think you can talk with the way you and Gabriel act.”

Sam gave him bitchface number 75, “We are gay, Dean.”

“Not the point.”

Cas shifted uncomfortably and got up with a murmur of, “I’m going to get more popcorn.”

Dean glanced up and for some reason his mood soured when Cas left. “What’s his problem?” he muttered, scowling at the TV

Sam, who had always had crazy good hearing, snorted and grabbed Gabriel’s hand, “C’mon, lets leave the lovers to their spat.”

Gabe dutifully followed, smirking back at Dean with a wink.

“Cas, we’ve got plenty of popcorn in here!” Dean shouted towards the kitchen in an attempt to get Cas back on the couch.

“I didn’t see it,” Cas replied, appearing at the doorway.

Dean picked it up from beside himself and shook it a little, “I may have accidentally hidden it.”

Cas didn’t laugh very often, but he gave Dean the little smile he made when he found something amusing and sat back down beside him on the couch.

Dean’s heart warmed, and if Cas noticed how he scooted closer, he didn’t comment.

~ ~ ~

After Sam and Gabriel married, Cas moved in with Dean because neither saw any reason to both have an appartment considering how much time they spent at each other’s apartments anyway.

Dean was coming home from work and already had his tie off by the time he opened the door and began to unbutton his shirt, “God, that killed.”

“Long day?” Cas asked.

Dean snorted, “Yeah, you could say that. Crowley wouldn’t leave me alone about the project and I almost yelled at him that I was never going to get it done if he didn’t leave me alone, but seeing as how I value having a job, I managed to hold my tongue. Barely, though.”

“Well . . . I made burgers,” it came out a bit like a question, as if Cas wasn’t entirely sure if that was the right thing to say.

A grin lit up Dean’s face as he slipped his shirt off his shoulders and down his arms, “Aw, you’re the best!”

Cas swallowed thickly, his eyes flicking over Dean’s broad shoulders, his tattoo lines, his flat stomach, and then back up to Dean’s eyes, “No problem, Mondays are always hard.”

Dean furrowed his brows a little as Cas turned and walked back to the kitchen, but shrugged off the other man’s odd behavior.

“Anything happen to you today?” Dean called as he headed to his bedroom to change into something more comfortable.

“No, not really,” Cas called back. “Balthazar was being more sarcastic than usual, but luckily it didn’t do much damage beyond insulting Leonardo di Caprio. We do have a letter from Sam and Gabriel, though. Why they still insist on writing letters when writing an email is so much easier, I don’t know, but I guess it’s a nice refreshment from the usual bills."

Dean hummed in agreement as he walked into the kitchen and grabbed two plates to begin serving them, “Anything from Bobby about how he and Ellen are doing?”

“Not that I’ve seen, but I also haven’t gone through all of the mail, yet.”

Dean hummed again and the kitchen was quiet until they sat down.

“So how are Sammy and Gabe?”

Cas snorted a little, “You are never going to give up that nickname, are you?”

“What? Sammy?” Dean gave a wicked grin, “Never.”

The brunette smiled a little and then said, “They’re good, having a lot of fun in London. They’re heading to Paris next for a few days and then coming back here.”

“Man, Sam is lucky he’s a good lawyer.”

“You mean he’s lucky to have you," Castiel replied, referring to Dean helping Sam pay for Law School. Practically paying for all of it, actually, as Sam didn't have a job at the time and he did.

Dean’s smile fell a little and he got a faraway look in his eyes, “Yeah, I suppose so. . . .”

Cas squinted at Dean, “You need to stop doing that.”

Dean started, “Stop doing what?”

“Putting yourself down like that. I don’t understand it. You are a wonderful person and we are all lucky to have you in our lives. If you’re not going to do it for yourself, than do it for me.”

Dean stared at Cas for a moment, incredibly surprised, and then replied with a small smile, “Okay, for you.”

~ ~ ~

“Deeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnn~!” Cas exclaimed as he opened the door and raced into the room.

Dean barely caught the armful of Cas suddenly sent his way and did his best to prevent them from toppling over, which was hard when Cas was leaning all of his weight against Dean, “Whoa! Are you drunk or something?”

Cas giggled, “‘Course not, yer drink,” his face transformed into one of a confused puppy, “Drink. Drinked,” his face lit up, “Yer the drinked one!”

“Yeah, okay, you’re drunk. What did you have anyway? You normally just have wine, and not nearly enough to get you drunk.”

“Ummmmm, I had Jill. Wait, no, Jack. Jill is from ‘Jack and Jill went up the hill’ mhmmmm.” Cas nodded in agreement, his blue eyes wide and innocent and completely focused on Dean’s face.

Dean sighed and would have run a hand down his face if he didn’t need it to keep Cas from swaying, “Right, well, I’m taking you to bed.”

Cas got a horrified look on his face, “But you didn’t even ask me if that’s what I want! I mean, I would have said yes, but you should have asked!"

Confusion took over Dean’s features as he ran back over his words, trying to understand what could have caused that reaction from Cas, and then turned scarlet when he realized his word trip-up, “Oh God, no, I didn’t mean-”

“Come on Deany-boy,” Cas said with a completely serious expression, trying to pull Dean to his bedroom, but he seemed to find his new nickname for Dean absolutely hilarious, because he broke down in giggles, falling on the floor and pounding it with his fists.

Realizing that he was never going to get Cas in bed if things kept up like this, Dean scooped Cas up bridal-style and ignored any comment the other man made.

As he was settling Cas down in bed, stripping him down to his underwear and undershirt, Cas said, “Dean, you’re really pretty. Like, really pretty. Your eyes are really nice and I love your hair and I could stare at you all day. Ooooh, can I? Can I, Dean?"

“Yeah, sure, tomorrow,” Dean replied, half focused on Cas and half focused on keeping his thoughts from veering to how cute Cas looked. “You should go to bed now, though. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Okay, Dean. You’re the bestest,” Cas muttered as he laid down.

Dean smiled down at Cas as he fell asleep, letting himself admire his best friend for once. Cas really was cute, no matter how much he tried to hide it behind all of the serious expressions. Without thinking about it too much, Dean leaned down to press a kiss to Cas’s temple, “I love you, angel.”

In the morning, Cas groaned as the light hit his eyes, “Deeeeeaaaaaaannnn.”

“Yeah, buddy, I’m here,” Dean replied after a few moments. “I have water and aspirin, there’s a trashcan by your bed, and when you feel up to it, there’s a greasy breakfast waiting for you.” He handed Cas the water and medicine, which Cas took gratefully.

After a long drink, Cas whispered, “You’re the best.”

Dean shrugged, “You do the same for me. Just don’t make a habit of it, okay?”

“What do you mean?”

Dean chuckled, “You’re a weird drunk."

Cas looked like he was about to respond, but at the last moment, he leaned over the side of his bed and barfed into his trashcan. Dean rubbed his back as he finished throwing up whatever he had eaten the day before.

“Well . . . at least it’s Saturday!”

Cas glared up at Dean.

~ ~ ~

Not long after Cas had moved in, Dean found out he got nightmares. Really, really bad nightmares.

The first time he experienced it, Dean almost started crying out of fear that he would never be able to wake Cas up from the screaming and thrashing. When Cas finally woke up and gained enough sense to figure out what happened, he didn’t stop apologizing for five minutes, but Dean just slipped under the sheets with him and coaxed him back to sleep before falling asleep himself.

He asked Gabe about it the next time they were together, but Gabriel just shrugged helplessly and said Cas just started getting them one night and they had never figured out why.

Tonight was one of those nights. Dean, per usual, rushed in and woke Cas up as soon as possible. Once Cas was awake and aware, Dean slipped under the sheets and held him close, whispering comforting words until his friend’s breathing had calmed.

“Thanks, Dean,” Castiel rasped.

Dean shrugged, “It’s what friends do. Do you want to tell me what the nightmare was about?”

Cas shook his head and rested against Dean’s chest and shoulder, closing his eyes and trying to focus on his surroundings: the beat of Dean’s heart, the wind outside the window, and Dean’s chest rising and falling under the blue-eyed man’s fingertips.

“Alright, if you’re sure.” Dean made sure to ask every time, even if Cas usually chose not to share anything, because you just never know when someone needs you to take the first step. “You know I’ll always lend an ear, though, right?”

Cas nodded, “I know, Dean.”

Dean didn’t reply, just continued to rub Cas’s back and was glad to feel his friend relax.

“Hey, Dean?”

“Yeah, Cas?"

“What do your tattoos mean?”

Dean tensed a little but forced himself to relax with the reminder that Cas didn’t mean anything bad by it, “Lots of different things, they all have a story.” He shifted Cas so they were sitting beside each other. “Which one do you want to know about first?”

Cas pointed at the black angel wings around Dean’s wrist and Dean began, “The wings were the last one I got on the sleeve. I was 25, going on 26, and I finally felt completely free to fly on my own. There was this painting I saw one day and it was of an angel with black wings, which I thought was odd as you usually see angels with white wings, but I also thought it was a good representation of how I was feeling. Which one next?”

The brunette traced a string of white-ink circles trailing up Dean’s arm and Dean smiled bitter-sweetly.

“Mom had this pearl necklace Dad gave her and she only wore it on special occasions. When I was growing up, she use to stand in front of her bed and I would stand on her bed and put the necklace on for her. My dad kept the necklace after she died, but when Dad died, the necklace was handed down to me. It would be a little weird for a man to wear a pearl necklace, but I thought this would be a good replacement.”

Next Cas pointed to a splattering of stars on Dean’s forearm and Dean talked about the time he and Sam had gone stargazing after their dad died, just needing to get away from of the well-meaning sympathetic people that seemed to suddenly be everywhere.

After that was the anti-demon possession sign and Dean told Cas about his addictions and other harmful habits and how he when he finally resolved to stop his self-destructive behavior, he got the tattoo to signify the banishing of his demons.

This carried on for a while, each tattoo asked about in turn, until Cas got to the handprint on Dean’s shoulder. He furrowed his eyebrows a bit, a confused look on his face, and asked, “What about this one?”

“What? Oh . . . I had forgotten about that one.”

Cas looked up sharply at Dean, “What do you mean you forgot about it?”

Dean squirmed a bit under the intense gaze, “I- . . . well, it’s my soulmate tattoo and the reason I got the other ones. I never thought I deserved a soulmate, I would just disappoint them.” When he saw Cas open his mouth, Dean was quick to continue, “I know, I know, I shouldn’t put myself down, but this was years before I met you and no one use to throw a hissy-fit about it. It was just easier to do my best to forget about it than to struggle with the idea that yet another person would be disappointed in me.”

It was silent for a moment before Cas said, “Dean, that wasn’t at all what I was going to say.”

“Then what were y-” Dean cut off with a strangled noise in the back of his throat as Cas started pulling off his shirt, and of course it took until now for Dean to realize he had never seen his friend shirtless.

“This would be a whole lot easier if I hadn’t worn a long-sleeved shirt,” Cas grumbled as he pulled his shirt off of his head.

It took Dean a moment to realize Cas was pointing at something on his arm, and another moment to rip his eyes away from Cas’s – frankly, delectable – body, but he managed to look to where Cas was pointing.

A handprint on his shoulder.

“Oh.”

Cas gave Dean an amused look, “Really? You not only find your soulmate, but you also find that they are someone who will never be disappointed in you, and all you can say is ‘Oh’?”

Dean sputtered, but went suddenly silent when he realized Cas had started to lean in closer.

“It’s a good thing I already love you,” Cas murmured.

“I love you, too,” Dean replied right before their lips pressed together.

~ ~ ~

“Man, you two were slow-pokes.”

Dean rolled his eyes at Gabriel’s comment, “At least we had time to get to know each other, rather than getting engaged a month after we met.”

Gabe shrugged, “We’re soulmates, perfect for each other. What’s the point of waiting?”

Dean was saved from having to come up with a reply to that by the sudden arrival of Castiel in his arms and their lips being pressed together.

“Ignore my brother and everything he says. He’s an idiot and doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

Dean laughed and hugged Cas close, kissing the top of his head, “I love you. You’re perfect.”

Cas hugged Dean a little tighter, “I love you, too. And I think you mean ‘We’re perfect.'"

Dean smiled.

“We’re perfect.”


End file.
